Simplicity can be defined as the state of being simple or uncomplicated. In me, it evokes the tranquility felt as I ascend the escalator onto Ikea’s showroom floor. From furniture to store layout, they clear a path to enjoyment—complete with conspicuous floor arrows in case you get lost. No extra fluff, just simple design.

Even as a youngster, I determined to keep things simple. One day, after prolonged dish-duty, I convinced my family the path to enjoyment, family peace, and harmony would come by implementing a one-plate-one-cup-per-person rule. They all agreed, but I would soon learn, we humans agree to lots of good things we can’t sustain.

I grew, and so did my desire for simplicity. Along with the joys, life’s challenges increased. Work, marriage, and family all had their own complexities. By my mid-twenties, I’d already picked up some bad habits, some bitterness, and a lot of ‘extra fluff’, both internally and externally.

In my ongoing effort to simplify, I read good books, followed good plans and ideas, and tried practicing good habits, but just like the one-plate-one-cup idea, I couldn’t keep it up. Without realizing it, my heart was seeking harmony and inner peace on man’s terms, not the terms God laid out.

I read, ‘seek first His Kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you’, but I didn’t know what it meant. Have you read that part in the Gospel of Matthew chapter 6? Jesus’ words are arresting! Don’t worry about things that are essential to living—food, clothing, shelter? Impossible! What planet, what reality does He think we live in?

Not surprisingly, I wasn’t the only person perplexed by (or ignoring) Jesus’ words. Just like He warned, believers and pagans worry about the same things and use the same popular ‘fixes’. Besides church attendance, sometimes it’s hard to tell us apart.

Since I have a lot of experience in seeking simplicity as a destination, I decided to make it a series so I could write more extensively about the unfruitful ways I tried attaining it. I’ll share others in the future, but the three I was led to share now are:

How Seeking Self-help Led to Judgment: thoughts on seeking out experts and gurus.

How Seeking Self-knowledge Led to Doubt: thoughts on the Enneagram and other tests and quizzes.

How Seeking Self-care Led to Neglect: thoughts on yoga and other spiritual/physical practices.

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How to complicate everything.

If insanity is doing the same thing looking for a different result, what do you call trying a handful of things only to get the same result . . . then rotating through the same handful again, and again, and again?

Stubborn. 

If you’ve read my post, I Thought Mountaintops Were For Making Out, you know I’m an immovable ass at times, digging in when I’ve been invited to move on. For decades I sought the rewards promised by proponents of simple living, with their clean sight-lines and organized underwear drawers. Unfortunately, in all those years, I couldn’t reconcile my outer world of serenity with my inner world of turmoil.

I could organize my closet, but I couldn’t organize my pain.

Since my crush on simplicity started early in childhood, by the time I married Marc, it had grown into an obsession. After getting pregnant with our first child, we bought a new bed and bedroom set along with an Ikea wardrobe system so we could put the baby in our walk-in closet.

Clean lines, dark woods, moody colors, our bedroom finally looked like an upscale hotel, just like we’d planned. We had a spot for every belt, sock, and pair of shoes, but it didn’t simplify what went on in our bedroom. I kept quiet about my nightmares and Marc didn’t know about the sexual abuse I suffered before we met, because I hadn’t told him yet.

I kept trying to make life simple, but it would’t comply. I was seeking something that eluded me. 

Tip: If you want to complicate things, dig-in and convince yourself (and others) you’re on the path toward progress when you know deep inside you’re lost.

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How to surrender everything.

Decluttering my space and mind never led to peace in my mind. I needed my heart to be decluttered and only Jesus offers that kind of transformation.

While it’s true Jesus’ woven tunic would make a great piece for a capsule wardrobe, He wasn’t sent to model an aesthetic or philosophy for managing the status quo; He came declaring and demonstrating the truest way to be human. Seeking His Kingdom and His righteousness (His rule and His order of things) means surrendering both my idea of the destination, and my means of getting there.

He is famous for a phrase of two simple words He still uses every day: “Follow me!“

He’s also clear about the cost. That’s one simple word: Everything.

Is my marriage monogamous?

I’m the Bride of Christ and when I think of a marriage covenant, I can more easily grasp what He’s asking for. He’s already given me all of Himself. He’s asking me to offer myself to Him. He doesn’t force it, He pursues and invites me. He lavishes mercy and grace and goodness into my life. I think this is what He’s trying to tell us in Matthew 6: He’s got us covered in covenant so we can stop living like pagans—without protection, security, love—what good news to be under a covenant!

But sometimes I treat Jesus as if forsaking all other gods is a major infraction on my freedom.  Instead of being a bride joyfully celebrating and exploring the endless benefits and mysteries of our union, I run off with Joe-nobody and slip Jesus a note saying, 

Dear John (I mean Jesus), 

You've asked a lot by expecting me to give up all my other lovers. Monogamy seems old-fashioned and simplistic . . . life and love are just too complicated these days to expect that! You must have meant metaphorical monogamy—we can be married in the spiritual sense, but I'd like to continue doing whatever I want in the material sense. I'd like to love both you and the world. Do we have a deal? Please say YES! 

Your loving, affectionate, and devoted bride, 
XOXO
Merry

Can anyone truly enjoy the benefits of a monogamous marriage while daily entertaining other lovers?

Cut the fluff.

In recent years, I’ve given up more lovers as they’ve been exposed for the idols they are, and the joy and freedom have been palpable! You can read the story of my first exposure to personal idolatry here.

Tip: If you’re tired of trying to live in both worlds and want to surrender everything, honestly confess you’re lost to Jesus, then receive His guidance and what He has for you in exchange. The care-free life He offers us is real, but only possible through Him.

I did this again the other night. In a very non-religious way, I told Jesus, “I’m afraid of your order of things, but I desire to follow you”, and He helped me discern what I was afraid of (through a memory that came to mind). I confessed my fears and received the truth He told me. Then, in exchange, He gave me a special picture in my imagination.

I didn’t get ‘super spiritual’—no candle lighting, no background worship music, I didn’t even work myself up to have ‘the talk’—it was better that I didn’t. I felt His presence come without needing the extra fluff. That’s the message at the heart of this series: we have permission to cut the fluff because His offer of closeness doesn’t require it like we’ve been accustomed to believe. Same planet, different reality.

Surrender is a lifestyle, just like covenant. Holiness is a covenant with Him—we never have to go outside of it to get what we need.

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Radical Simplicity

Seeking His Kingdom and His order of things first has led me into a more wonderful life than I ever dreamed for myself. When I seek on His terms instead of man’s—trusting Him as my way, truth, and life—I receive peace and wholeness nothing in the world can offer me.

Although Jesus was born into a deeply traditional culture, and a religious and political hotbed, His lifestyle didn’t follow a traditional path, moral principle, or philosophy of virtue. He listened attentively and trusted His Father to provide everything from identity to direction. He invites us to do the same.

Since I feel peace and joy while I walk with my guide, simplicity is no longer a destination. I don’t even need floor arrows. How radically simple!

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